Archive for April 21st, 2010

(Near) Truth in (Candy) Advertising

Once upon a time, in a boardroom far, far away, a bunch of candy-company executives got together – or so I like to imagine, anyway – and plotted out their company’s new product offerings for the next six months or so.

“You know”, said one executive, “we’d really like to get a piece of the multi-billion-dollar tinned-mint business. What can we do to make a product that really stands out from the popular, established competition in this market sector?”

“Well”, said another executive, “we could try to make mints that are targeted more towards children…”

“You mean market it more as candy than as a breath mint?”

“Yeah! Bright packaging designed to appeal to kids, gimmicky shapes, that sort of thing.”

“Um,” interjected a third executive, “not to be a downer, but do kids actually like mints? Like, I mean, the taste? I’ve got an eight-year-old daughter who hates the taste of Penguin and Altoid mints.”

“Yeah, that’s a good point,” said the first executive. “How about we make mints that… aren’t… mint… flavored.”

“Yeah, we could do that, I guess.”

“What would a mint taste like if it you removed the mint bits?”

“I… don’t really know. Sugar and fat, probably.”

“Well, kids like that, right?”

“I suppose.”

“We just need to figure out how to market it…”

And thus was born…
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Published in: 'D' for 'Dumb', General | on April 21st, 2010 | No Comments »