Archive for January 20th, 2010

Teh Stupid, It Hurts, It Hurts

So this dude over in Minneapolis – fast on track to regaining its old glory of “Murderapolis”, but that’s a story for another day – is a bit down on his luck and needs some quick cash to get food or booze or drugs, or whatever. What’s he do?

Sells cocaine on the streets, of course. Hey, why not? No real special skills required, no real physical labor, and it can be extremely lucrative.

It’s even more lucrative, of course, when you don’t pay your supplier for your merchandise, which is an all too common “bright idea” that down-on-their-luck dealers sometimes hit upon. That rarely ends well.

What’s safer than – but just as lucrative as – selling cocaine you didn’t pay for? Why, selling fake cocaine, of course.

That’s what a guy tried to do on Friday – he sold a baggie of crushed-up drywall powder for $20. He probably would have gotten away with it, too, had he not sold it to an undercover officer.

Say what you will about America’s drugs policies, but some people really are just so stupid that it ought to be a crime.

(Fun statistical footnote: A 4×8 sheet of 7/8″ drywall weighs about 70 pounds. If you powdered the whole damn thing up and sold it at prevalent street prices for crack cocaine, it’d be worth around $635,000. It’d also last you a year… if you sold 86 hits a day, which I’m guessing would be a pretty high volume of sales.)

Published in: 'D' for 'Dumb', General | on January 20th, 2010 | No Comments »