Archive for May 27th, 2009

Electromagnetic Railguns for Hunting? Wait, What?

I don’t want to sound like some rabid Second Amendment advocate (I’m not), but, um, what the heck is this about?

Hunters [in Wisconsin] can now legally use firearms including air guns, handguns and guns fired from the shoulder.

The Wisconsin Conservation Congress, which advises the state Department of Natural Resources, was concerned those definitions were too loose and could allow hunters to use new, untested technology such as electromagnetic weapons.

Emphasis mine.

Now they’ve passed a law saying you can only hunt with “traditional gunpowder firearms or air rifles and pistols”.

Electromagnetic weapons for hunting? Are they freaking serious? What are we talking about, here? A handheld railgun? I called my local gun shop on my lunch break, and they had no idea what I was talking about. “You mean like a taser?” the woman who answered asked.

I don’t think so. In my books, if you want to hunt with a taser – which has, what, a 25-foot effective range? – more power to you.

As far as I’m concerned, if you’ve got a portable railgun and want to kill Bambi with it, you go right ahead and do it, assuming it’s deer season and you’ve got the appropriate permit and all that.

Doesn’t Wisconsin have anything better to do?

Once Al Franken gets sworn in, I’m going to write him and demand – yes, demand – that Minnesota go one better and ban hunting with lasers, masers, grasers, gravitic imploder lances, tractor beams, photon torpedoes, plasma weapons, and those needler rifle things from the HALO games. Clearly using such “untested technology” for the boring and mundane purpose of hunting must be proscribed.

Not because they’re unfair or anything; I’m sure it’s because they’re wickedly painful to whatever you hit with them. I mean, have you seen what a gravitic imploder lance does to those it hits? One minute it’s a humanoid, the next minute it’s… not.

The way I figure it is this: this is the first step of Obama’s next big gun-control plan. First, ban any socially-acceptable use for railguns, phasers, plasma rifles, and so on. Next, the “Omnibus Fictional Weapon Control Act of 2010”. You know it’s coming…

Hurry, fellow patriots! Get your pre-ban shuriken cannons while you still can!

Published in: 'D' for 'Dumb', Geekiness, General | on May 27th, 2009 | 15 Comments »