According to sources, three dumbasses - two of them members of the “band” Wide Open, were arrested early this morning in downtown Saint Paul. It seems these idiots - Jesus freaks John Fellman and Luke Towle, and probably-Jesus freak Nathan Harkness - thought it’d be a good idea to explore the sewers and tunnels under downtown. Now, I’ve no problem with that… but they thought opening a manhole on Kellogg, right by City Hall, was a good idea. Fucking morons. Jesus goes in, brain goes out.

Arrested for burglary, possession of burglary tools, and making terroristic threats, they were released without charge. I wonder if God told them to do it?