Clues For a New Generation

Growing up, Clue wasn’t my favorite board game - that was Scrabble - but it was still a rather fun way to pass a rainy day with family members or friends. What struck me then - and still strikes me today - is the curiously dated character of the game - a bunch of well-off white people in a mansion, accusing each other of having committed murder with the crudest and most basic sorts of tools. What surprises me most is that though there have been “new” editions of the game over the years, they’ve all - with one or two quite forgettable exceptions - kept the dated feel. The premise is sound, and the game is fundamentally enjoyable, but I think the whole setting is just too alien for today’s kids. As such, I’ve got some ideas for new editions of Clue, which should appeal to a younger and more hip generation:

Clue: The California Commune Edition is the first one that comes to mind - if only because of the amusing irony of a game revolving around the murder of a peacenik hippy by his or her brethren. (”I accuse Comrade Muffley, in the Yoga Room, with the bicycle pump!”)

Closely related, I suppose, would be Clue: Silicon Valley (”I accuse Shanjab, in the Employee Gym, with the cat-5 cable.”) and Clue: Soulless Corporate Workplace Edition (”I accuse The Mail Clerk, in Cubicle Fourteen, with the day-old coffee.”) How about Clue: Federal Government Edition? (”I accuse Maj. Yonkers, in the Conference Room, with red tape.”)

Monopoly has been making localized versions for years, now; why not Clue? From Minnesota (”I accuse Governor Pawlenty, with the veto pen… no, wait, sorry, um, I accuse Sven, on the Boat Dock, with the hot-dog on-a-stick”) to Michigan (”I accuse ‘Renegade’, in the Alley, with the Tire Iron”) to New York (”I accuse Fast Eddie, in the Laundry Room, with the skateboard”) to Montana (”I accuse Ezekiel, on the Porch, with Russian Assault Rifle Number Five”), there are all sorts of settings, characters, and weapons available to make the game more interesting - and more relevant - to today’s kids.

What other classic games could be updated to become more relevant to kids in the 21st century? Surely there are a few that are begging to be re-done… (Monopoly, Ghetto Edition: “You’ve landed on the neighborhood grocery store. Would you like to rob it, and get $200? Claim it, and collect $50 in extortion every time you pass it? Or buy it for $500, and collect $200 in fraudulent food-stamp income every time another player lands on it? Oh, nevermind, you already own it. Well, would you like to rob it, anyway, or burn it down for the $300 insurance?”)

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