Top Ten Internet Annoyances of 2007

You didn’t ask for it, but here it is, anyway – my top ten internet annoyances of the year.

Number 10: Ajax, and everything else that’s wrong with ‘Web 2.0’. There’s plenty to get excited about in ‘Web 2.0’ – but a lot of the technology is frankly… useless and overrated cowpoop.

Number 9: SEO weenies. Content has always been king, kiddies; no matter how many nifty tricks you use to polish cowpoop, it’s still cowpoop. This is especially true when you’re trying to polish someone else’s cowpoop.

Number 8: Flash, and all other forms of embedded video or animation. Has sucked, still sucks, will continue to suck, probably forever. It’s annoying, it’s irritating, it’s completely unnecessary, and it all frankly sucks in terms of accessibility and usability. Please, Gods, make it go away.

Number 7: Pop-ups, pop-unders… if it pops, it flops. (Thank the gods for browsers which block these things.)

Number 6: Movie and music pirates who are ruining P2P filesharing for the rest of us. Things would suck a lot less for everyone without the wrath of the RIAA, CRIA, et cetera to contend with. Thanks, kids.

Number 5: Self-professed SMEs who aren’t. If you don’t say anything, people won’t realize how ignorant you actually are. Silence is golden – or, at least, more golden than clueless cowpoop masquerading (badly) as “expertise”.

Number 4: Content (and bandwidth) thieves. Need I say more?

Number 3: ppl who cnt b rsed 2 spell rite, lol; wtf is up wit taht? omg, u ppl are teh suxorz; english majors ftw!!!11

Number 2: People who, on websites other than, and not at all similar to, Slashdot, do that ridiculously stupid “+1” thing. Kids, it’s not cool, okay? In polite company, this kind of “me too” thing is called “AOLing.” In less polite company, it’s called “being a post-whoring dumbass.”

And the Number 1 annoyance of the internet is: Spammers. Email spammers, forum spammers, blog trackback and comment spammers, IM spammers… you all suck, and I hope to see you all up against the wall when the revolution comes.

Thank you; that is all.

Published in: 'D' for 'Dumb', General | on December 13th, 2007| Comments Off on Top Ten Internet Annoyances of 2007

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