Supporting the Troops, Part One

In the dark, unenlightened past of history, I’ve poked fun at the buzzword-rich military culture, even complained about the phenomenon. I’ve come to realize, however, that I was wrong and out of order to do so. By way of partial atonement, I propose a new initiative for we strategic noncombatants that embraces with open arms the lexicon of today’s advanced warfighter.

I propose that we on civvy street begin imitating the valiant men and women of our armed forces and begin adding military buzzwords to our personal and professional writing. Doing so will, I believe, help “support the troops” far better than putting magnets on our SUVs, wearing rubber bracelets made in China, or adorning ourselves in red, white, and blue.

In addition to the critical patriotism benefits, this initiative will have the important and beneficial side-effect of broadening and strengthening the vocabulary of the American people. Too, noncompulsory participation in and compliance with this program will serve to foster a sense of kinship and comraderie that is much needed and woefully lacking in todays society. Best of all, this nonlethal initiative is completely funded out of my own pocket with zero fiscal burden on taxpayers. What’s not to like?

Here, as part one of Operation TEMPT – that’s Tactical Employment of Military Phrases and Terminology, because no initiative ever succeeds without a clever acronym in its name – are twenty-five words and phrases you – if you care about Freedom and support our soldiers – will endeavor to strategically integrate into your everyday vocabulary:

Dynamic, real-time, net-centric (or network-centric), non-lethal, less-lethal, strategic, critical, responsive, tactical, logistical, cross-band, multi-platform, distributed, self-healing, semantic, interoperable, proactive, forward-leaning, predictive, adaptive, multi-discipline, joint, initiative, real-time, and next-generation.

There are of course many, many others you can and are encouraged to use, but these are a good start. I know this might seem awkward, but remember, you cannot overuse these terms, everyone else is doing it and – importantly – you don’t actually have to know what any of these words or phrases mean in order to use them. Also, they are especially useful when employed in the workplace, either in job applications, resumes, or performance reviews. Few things impress more than a dedication to erudition or devotion to dazzlement, and nothing delivers dazzle like buzzwords in bulk.

Your assignment, should you not choose to decline it, is to practice the ready employment of these and other buzzwords throughout everyday communication. Next week, Part Two of Operation TEMPT will cover the courtship of obfuscation and the strategic deployment of impressively large words. Confusion to our bosses, managers, and enemies of freedom everywhere!

Published in: Geekiness, General, Security | on July 11th, 2007| Comments Off on Supporting the Troops, Part One

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