Relationships and Hand Grenades

As my very few friends and I get old (not just older, but…old) our occasional discussions, which once revolved around things like computer hardware and cameras and sex and sewers, now include depressingly adult topics like the mortgage crisis, arthritis, and “relationship issues”.

Now, I expect that most of you just tuned out a little bit right there, because nobody with a Y chromasome normally really wants to discuss, or even think about, relationship stuff. It involves words like “feelings” and “trust” and “emotion”, and soul-searching, and questions even trickier than “does this make me look fat?”, which is scary territory indeed.

To help remedy this problem, some of us have come up with an entertaining and surprisingly insightful method of relationship analysis through the use of hand grenades.

No, really.

How it works is this: Each person in a relationship (nominally two, obviously, but there’s nothing wrong with polyamory, right?) is asked to answer a set of n simple open-ended questions (where (n=2(x-1)), when x is the total number of people in the relationship); after this is done, the people involved exchange and compare answers.

What are the questions?

1. For each other person in your relationship, suppose that they gave you a foreign-looking hand grenade which they swore was inert. It’s fairly heavy, there is no hole in the bottom, and there are no discernible legible markings anywhere upon it. Your partner suggests you remove the safety clip and pull the pin. What do you do?

2. For each other person in your relations, suppose you gave them a foreign-looking hand grenade and swore to them that it was inert. It’s fairly heavy, there is no hole in the bottom, and there are no discernible legible markings anywhere upon it. You suggest your partner removes the safety clip and pulls the pin. What do they do?

It’s amazing how many people think their partner would just blindly pull the pin on a hand grenade-shaped object because they told them to, but wouldn’t do so themselves in the same situation – my experience is that most of the women who’ve answered these questions answer the first one something to the effect of “what am I, an idiot? No, I don’t pull the freaking pin” but at the same time think their boyfriend or husband would. It’s also very amusing to see how many guys (that I know, anyway) assume that under these circumstances the grenade is live, their wife/girlfriend/boyfriend knows this, is lying about it, and is trying to get them to kill themselves.

Trust issues among baby boomers and the oldest edge of Generation X? Nah, couldn’t be…

Published in: General | on August 2nd, 2010| Comments Off on Relationships and Hand Grenades

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