I’m Halal – Teh Lols Just Keep on Coming

I don’t want to seem as though I’m in any way picking on the dysfunctional Muslim-friendly search engine I’m Halal, which is so badly coded it hurts, yet is set on global domination. That being said, a little bit of digging into the search engine and the people behind it turns up a bunch of information practically guaranteed to make you go hmmn

First off, let’s see who “I’m Halal” is, or are:


URL: http://www.transip.nl

owner-contact: P-RAS1465
owner-organization: AZSMediaGroup
owner-fname: R
owner-lname: Sardeha
owner-street: De waarden 135
owner-city: zupthen
owner-zip: 7206 GC
owner-country: NL
owner-phone: +31 657938393
owner-email: imhalal@azsmediagroup.com

admin-contact: P-RGA403
admin-fname: R
admin-lname: abdolalizadeh sardeha
admin-street: De waarden 135
admin-city: zupthen
admin-zip: 7206 GC
admin-country: NL
admin-phone: +31 657938393
admin-email: reza_sardeha@hotmail.com

Yep, it’s registered in that well-known center for scholarly Islamic learning… Zupthen, Holland. Yes, Holland. It was registered in February 2009, they splashed out for a whole one year’s registration (5 Euros, plus VAT), and the administrative contact address is at Hotmail, urgh argh blech phooey blech.

What’s that about the “AZS Media Group”? I wonder who they are? The answer is apparently “an upstart web-development firm”, of whose many grandiose visions “I’m Halal” is but the first to reach fruition. Among those in the pipeline, Mingle Mingle, an “edgy chat platform” that will allow random Dutch folks to hook up with one another. Somehow, I doubt Allah would approve… (Remember, what happens in Holland’s red-light districts stays in Holland’s red-light districts.)

The search engine that wants to be a household name in the global Muslim community, by the way, is hosted in Texas. Yes, Texas. But wait! It gets better!

“I’m Halal” is hosted on a shared server, along with over a hundred other websites, including such tame and family-friendly sites as, um…

A porn site, among others. (Third on the list. Copious quantities of eye- and mind-bleach required if you happen to visit that site. Urgh argh blech phooey blech blech blech, my eyes, my eyes… ahem. I digress.) An anti-government, Ron Paul website. A couple of fake “news” websites promoting some “Acai Berry” crap. The website for a breast-cancer fundraising poker tournament. The website – .gov, even – of the Appalacian Regional Commission.

Let’s recap, shall we?

People with no real internet experience to speak of: check.
…who profess to be religiously motivated: check.
…but are clearly just in it to make a quick buck: check.
A barely-functional website that doesn’t work as advertised: check.
…hosted on el-cheapo shared hosting in the heart of The Great Satan: check.
…on a server shared by U.S. Government and amazingly kinky porn websites? check.
Grandiose dreams of global market domination the existing infrastructure could never support: check.

Sorry, everything about “I’m Halal” screams cheap – and “epic fail”, as well. Still, who knows? Maybe Microsoft will buy ’em for a couple million bucks, or something. As much as I hate Microsoft, it’s hard to see how they could screw the whole thing up any worse than it already is…

Published in: 'D' for 'Dumb', Geekiness, General | on September 2nd, 2009| 2 Comments »

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  1. On 3/30/2012 at 7:40 pm colocatie Said:

    very true .. sad though.. i liked the domain its actually high on value as well :/

  2. On 3/30/2012 at 7:41 pm colocatie Said:

    very true .. sad though.. i liked the domain its actually high on value as well :/