Electromagnetic Railguns for Hunting? Wait, What?

I don’t want to sound like some rabid Second Amendment advocate (I’m not), but, um, what the heck is this about?

Hunters [in Wisconsin] can now legally use firearms including air guns, handguns and guns fired from the shoulder.

The Wisconsin Conservation Congress, which advises the state Department of Natural Resources, was concerned those definitions were too loose and could allow hunters to use new, untested technology such as electromagnetic weapons.

Emphasis mine.

Now they’ve passed a law saying you can only hunt with “traditional gunpowder firearms or air rifles and pistols”.

Electromagnetic weapons for hunting? Are they freaking serious? What are we talking about, here? A handheld railgun? I called my local gun shop on my lunch break, and they had no idea what I was talking about. “You mean like a taser?” the woman who answered asked.

I don’t think so. In my books, if you want to hunt with a taser – which has, what, a 25-foot effective range? – more power to you.

As far as I’m concerned, if you’ve got a portable railgun and want to kill Bambi with it, you go right ahead and do it, assuming it’s deer season and you’ve got the appropriate permit and all that.

Doesn’t Wisconsin have anything better to do?

Once Al Franken gets sworn in, I’m going to write him and demand – yes, demand – that Minnesota go one better and ban hunting with lasers, masers, grasers, gravitic imploder lances, tractor beams, photon torpedoes, plasma weapons, and those needler rifle things from the HALO games. Clearly using such “untested technology” for the boring and mundane purpose of hunting must be proscribed.

Not because they’re unfair or anything; I’m sure it’s because they’re wickedly painful to whatever you hit with them. I mean, have you seen what a gravitic imploder lance does to those it hits? One minute it’s a humanoid, the next minute it’s… not.

The way I figure it is this: this is the first step of Obama’s next big gun-control plan. First, ban any socially-acceptable use for railguns, phasers, plasma rifles, and so on. Next, the “Omnibus Fictional Weapon Control Act of 2010”. You know it’s coming…

Hurry, fellow patriots! Get your pre-ban shuriken cannons while you still can!

Published in: 'D' for 'Dumb', Geekiness, General | on May 27th, 2009| 15 Comments »

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  1. On 5/28/2009 at 3:42 pm Jerry in Detroit Said:

    They can have my light saber when the pry my cold, dead fingers from it.

  2. On 5/31/2009 at 2:55 am Scc Said:

    Wait, your not allowed to use anti-city weapons to hunt Dear?

  3. On 6/2/2009 at 8:22 pm James Said:

    Wait, You mean that I can’t hunt with my Interdimensional Dark Matter Transmogrifier???!!!!!????
    What kind of commie bastards are they?

  4. On 6/28/2009 at 4:12 pm will Said:

    they mean using weapons like coil guns to hunt, not rail guns

  5. On 6/29/2009 at 12:51 am Dave Said:

    I’ve got a “gun” swinging right here between my hairy, tree-trunk-like man legs, if any of you effeminate European multisexuals should feel a need to service it with the holes in your faces you usually use to shout soccer teams’ names shortly before raping each other anally and collapsing into a writhing, sweaty, bleeding vomity heap that smells like a bucket of pig shit soaked in Guinness. My gun is thick and meaty, offering the housewife many options for kitchen creativity and I come with a Certificate of Authenticity signed in genuine ink by the president of the U.S. Official-Sounding Government Collector’s Federal Mint of American Freedom and Christian Values. Indeed, my gun will pipe the icing on her cake, if you catch my cleverly worded double entendre. Ha-Ha!

    So, to review:

    Wisconsin gun-makers = fruity little twinks named, “chad.”

    My gun = The meaty sausage your wife wants in her well-stocked pantry.

  6. On 6/29/2009 at 5:55 pm warley Said:

    I think they mean Gauss Rifles.

  7. On 6/30/2009 at 2:36 am tyler Said:

    First off, learn to use spell check. Its deer not dear for one thing.
    I do not understand why there is such a big deal over this, if you do not live there, who cares. If you knew anything about gun tech, people have been moving to alternative propulsion systems for years. Its hard, hell, nearly impossible to improve on a device that has not been changed for years. I do not appreciate uneducated crack pots trying to tell me that my collection of firearms is against my rights as an American citizen. If you think differently, you should get the stick out from your ass and go beat each other with them. At least that would be entertaining.

  8. On 6/30/2009 at 4:01 am Doug Said:

    The part I find most shocking is that you actually called your local gun shop and asked about a rail gun. You really should try Google more.

  9. On 6/30/2009 at 11:40 pm Michael Said:

    Just because you can’t buy a railgun at a gun store dosn’t mean they don’t exist. Look it up on youtube, there are plenty of people who have built railguns. I think i saw a railgun pistol somewhere on the internet for sale. They aren’t hard to make, here look at this video, it shows the construction of a fairly small, fairly powerful railgun.

    but i do agree, you should be allowed to hunt with whatever you want, as long as you have a permit and its the proper hunting season.

  10. On 7/1/2009 at 5:23 am Dillon Said:

    Railguns are a long way off from being used for anything less than artillery built into a large structure. Coil guns on the ether hand are fairly simple to build and can generally be about as powerful as a bb gun. Someone with some serious electronics know-how and deep pockets for buying cutting edge capacitors could build one good enough for hunting. I doubt it could be used for deer, but it depends on the capacitors and the energy source. But this type of weapon would take hours to recharge from any battery you could fit in the gun, probably still hours with a car battery, even several minutes plugged into an outlet. So, if its built with cutting edge tech, has a ton of power storage capacity, you dont miss the first shot, and you built it right, it could be used for hunting game.

  11. On 7/2/2009 at 12:54 am mark Said:

    Wisconsin obviously doesn’t want to take the chance of someone employing new technology to take game, no matter that it shouldn’t matter how the projectile is given energy, and no matter it is many years off. Technology can sneak up on ya…you know, like a hunter on a stalk.

  12. On 7/2/2009 at 5:24 pm piggy Said:

    Why aren’t you a rabid 2nd amendment advocate? Why are you ashamed of defending the constitution? But then you may wish to choose your battles carefully since most of the constitution is under attack.

  13. On 11/22/2009 at 1:07 am joe Said:

    so i can’t hunt deer with my thermonuke launcher?
    thats bullshit.

  14. On 2/7/2014 at 9:43 pm noyb Said:

    railguns for hunting if you can find out the power needed to push the bullet down the rail within the 400fps+ then you got something there. the latest bows on the markit go about 330 to 380fps this is for 20 to 40 yards etehical shots. a railgun whould get rid of the need of gunpowder all you whould need is battrys and the power of the sun. and skills in makeing bullets that fit the barral/rail. subsonic 9mm rounds anyone?

  15. On 2/18/2017 at 2:48 pm Why Said: